Handy With A Racquet

There's nothing like going to sleep after a great college party only to wake up with your tennis teammate larynx-deep on your "racquet."

FROM ABC NEWS - RALEIGH: The player told police he went to bed around 3 a.m. Saturday and was awakened two hours later by Bivens performing oral sex on him.

Police arrested and served Bivens with the search warrant that allowed investigators get a saliva sample. He was released on bond that same day.

Dejon Bivens was charged with crimes against nature and allegedly later told reporters that he just can't get enough balls bouncing on his court - and by court he meant chin.

High Martina

We honestly don't care about tennis, but we were shocked when we heard the Martina Hingis story. Apparently Hingis retired today after it was revealed she tested positive for cocaine at Wimbledon.

Cocaine? This is crazy. First of all, why would a tennis player use cocaine?

It worked fine for LT when he was chasing down quarterbacks and trying to rip people's heads off, but tennis? How would this help?

Secondly, hearing the words Martina Hingis and cocaine just doesn't fit. Sure, Hingis can appear to be a little manish, but certainly not a party girl.
Oh well. Goodbye Martina. Or should we say, high Martina?