CREAM-ing The Ball, CLEAR-ing The Bases: The Barry Bonds Story

Everyone's favorite perjurer and baseball's resident walking syringe, Barry Lamar Bonds, is set to be the next subject of HBO Films.

FROM THE SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS: The story of Barry Bonds and the BALCO steroids scandal is going to be made into a film by HBO.

The premium cable channel has acquired the rights to "Game of Shadows: Barry Bonds, BALCO and the Steroids Scandal That Rocked Professional Sports," the book by Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams who covered the story for the San Francisco Chronicle.

The film will be written and directed by Ron Shelton, whose lengthy resume includes such notable sports films as "Bull Durham," "Tin Cup" and "White Men Can't Jump." It will be produced by Ross Greenburg, the head of HBO Sports who also produced "61*" about Roger Maris' chase of Babe Ruth's homerun record, and Michael Greenburg ("Stargate SG-1").

Our question is who is going play pre-2003, human Barry and who is going to play post-Balco, genetic freak Barry.

What an Ass-terisk

Poor Barry. The former Giants slugger and "Home Run King" said he won't attend his Hall of Fame induction if Cooperstown displays No. 756 with an asterisk on it. The asterisk of course being the work of fashion designer Marc Ecko.

Here's what Bonds had to say about the situation: "I don't think you can put an asterisk in the game of baseball, and I don't think that the Hall of Fame can accept an asterisk. You cannot give people the freedom, the right to alter history. You can't do it. There's no such thing as an asterisk in baseball."

Barry, we agree. You can't give people the freedom or the right to alter history. That's why you should admit to using steroids, apologize for it and recognize Hammerin' Hank Aaron's mark of 755 as the home run record. If you want to taint baseball's history, then don't cry about Cooperstown allowing Ecko to do the same to a stupid baseball.